and I digress....

I don't know if you experience this but I feel like every time I go home to visit family, within a few days, I have turned back into the typical youngest child, teenage version of myself. My friends and I always talk about how this year will be different and we will all of a sudden act like adults all the time around our families. We grow in it a little bit every year, but we inevitably fail in one way or another. Like this year at Christmas my brother threw a fire cracker popper at me because I walked in his room (which I actually still think is funny) and I had to apologize to my sister because we were having conflict and I told her that her reasons were "stupid" and at one point I also threw in the word "foolish." How old am I?

Coming back from home always makes me really thankful for Jesus. I mean, literally the Lord sees the ways I am not loving, prideful, or disengaged on a daily basis and He still chooses to love me and claim my life as something worth redeeming. This past week, I have been even more confronted with my lack of deservedness (is that a word?) than I have been in a while. After stepping out of working with Crusade for a season I was honestly a little nervous to go visit some of my students and old staff friends who were in town for DCC. It had been so long since I had seen most of them, but when I finally got there, I got to see people and meet people that are so loving and kind. I just felt really loved on and honored to be around them. There is something that makes you feel kind of exposed about the way Jesus chooses to show He loves us when we feel least deserving, but I guess that's part of the beauty and offensiveness of the gospel - I can't do anything for it but respond.